admirer

from love is a dying by Bailey Miller

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lyrics

sittin in my pajamas
had to call my mama
cuz I thought I ordered a decaf
and now I’m seein auras
ate some naan in the shower
and I panicked for ten hours
and I wondered about you
and about how I’m a downer
thought I was becoming
turns out maybe I’ve been running
from the ghosts of
your love and your love
when push comes to shove
I am alone
upon my throne
I am alone
and I want to be known

why is there nothing to say?
you wouldn’t get it anyway
why is there nothing to say?
you wouldn’t get it anyway
why did you go away?
oooh, oooh

wrote you a song about a goldfinch
now I feel like a bitch
glad you ignored my pitch
I didn’t mean to switch
which is which
I don’t have neither / nor
no one to care for
no one to adore
just memories from before
and my symbolic folklore
and these closed doors
I’m sinking through the floor
loves I can’t ignore
thought it was you I swore
it’s not you anymore

why did you go away?
I wouldn’t get it anyway
why did you go away?
I wouldn’t get it anyway

went to your bonfire
we admired your easter attire
lit by ruby and sapphire
while the cat conspired
with you I’m inspired
yet I still get that lonely ire
over the unrequited prior
and the beauty that transpired
tried to be a pacifier
my love turned into a pyre
being reignited in your fire
what’s the meaning of desire
when it doesn’t expire?
what does it require?
is it just a misfire?
to take us lower or higher?
although I’ve tried to rewire
I’m still your not so secret admirer

will love bloom or decay
we couldn’t know it anyway
will love bloom or decay
we couldn’t know it anyway
holy water on the ground
exiled and bound
drawn somehow
then and now

credits

from love is a dying, released February 10, 2023

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about

Bailey Miller Cincinnati, Ohio

swelling strings, synthesized stirrings, subterranean spirals, and screeching stillness

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